• Personal

On Writing

I want to write.

Last year, I learned that there's particular value in expressing oneself. When you actively put in effort in your inner thoughts and feelings, you give them shape. They split from your fluid self and become static. Then you can try to interact, measure, try to understand and perhaps, move on.

Consciousness is an elaborate lie we tell ourselves; it is scientifically established that we have large gaps in our perception and our brains fill those gaps with expectations and coping mechanisms. Self-expression helps us to establish a firmer ground truth, through the artifacts we create.

Also, I have the feeling that one side of my brain needs to communicate with the other, and the only pathway goes through the outer world.

Self-expression doesn't necessitate an audience; I could just be writing into a private journal. But there's value in having an audience too. Even perfect perception would not guarantee perfect understanding. With a universe of unknown unknowns, one can live in complete darkness without sharing the experiences of others.

Moreover, I need others' sympathy, understanding and love. Life is cruel in that way.

Honestly, I don't know what kind of audience I want to have. I have strong feelings about the internet we live with today. General purpose social media and their ad driven designs shape our societies in horrible ways. I have no desire to cater to the 'algorithm' or to create 'content'. But because many of the ways blogs got exposure is now dead, I suspect not many people will read mine. My old blog from a decade ago would get random strangers through search results, so perhaps this will too.

Please note, unlike my old website, this one doesn't have any trackers. So I won't know that you were here unless you tell me. Back in the early days of the internet, people would put buttons on their websites that the visitors could click. This way they could say "I was here". It's kind of gruesome where we are now in that sense. Anyways, feel free to reach to out to say you've read my blog over email or social media.